Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
