Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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