Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
So many bounce houses so little time
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
