I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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