waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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