You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
