So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I did not marry a roomba.
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