I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i drank out of a bidet.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
