She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
