wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
