The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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