**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
