he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
