she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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