Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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