she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
