I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
