your room smells of hookers.
And success
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
