on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
