dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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