i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
