Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
