he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
