For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
