you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
