I am full of burrito and curiosity
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
