So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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