lets start a swedish sibling band together
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
