someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
