We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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