i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I could fuck to npr.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
