booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
