Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
