You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
