Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
