It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
