You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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