Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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