reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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