I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
