We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
