My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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