So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Come see our sink grown plant.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
