i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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