I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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