can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Randomize
