he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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