nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
