so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
