Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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